I think the worst thing one person could do to another is tell bold face lies.  Lying is so hurtful once the truth comes out.  And it always comes out.  Any trust that had ever been established is gone or is going to be hard won again.  I dated a liar.  Well, I’ve dated a few liars but I’m speaking about one guy in particular.  Nick*.  With Nick there was an immediate spark.  He would call instead of just texting and if I didn’t answer he would leave me cute voicemails that started with, “Hey, it’s me”.  He added me on Facebook right away, which I thought was too quick but a bit indearing.  It was like we had been dating for awhile because it was super comfortable right away. 🚩

Our first date was on a Friday.  We grabbed a drink at a local bar and the discussion flowed as if we had known each other for years.  We discovered that he used to have a crush on my sister. Small world!  He played baseball in college and she was on the volleyball team.  The two teams hung out together and he liked her.  Now, I know what you’re thinking. We’ve already heard this story about cross contamination dating.  Let me clarify; they never dated.  She didn’t even know who he was, let alone that he had a crush on her.  

In three days, we had three dates.  Things were moving so quickly I could barely keep up.  By Sunday, he was saying everything I wanted to hear.  He called me ‘babe’ right away, he told me to “Get used to being taken care of”, and he made me drop my guard.  That’s right around the time the MAJOR red flags (🚩) were waiving in my face.  He talked about where we would put his stuff when he moved in.  🚩RUN🚩. Where he would park his car, depending on who got home first, of course.  🚩FLEE🚩.  How he wanted me to have his babies. 🚩Bitch, GTFO🚩.  My head was screaming at me, WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!  Even though I wanted someone to say these things to me, I knew I did not want to hear it three days in.  I let my heart shut my brain down.  

That Sunday we had fallen asleep on the couch watching football.  I woke and it was already 10:00pm.  I then tried to wake him so he could go home.  We both had work the next day and I needed to pull myself out of the three day date fest we had been on.  I gently tried to rouse him.  Nothing.  I shook him a little harder.  Still nothing.  “NICK!”, I said.  After about 5 minutes of this, I hit him in the face.  That did it.  He was extremely groggy.  I told him what time it was and he got up, kissed me and attempted to leave my apartment, sans shoes or wallet.  I stopped him and sat him back on the couch.  I got him some water and he gave me some attitude when I made him drink.  🚩 
I determined he was not driving home so I got him into my room and in bed.  He immediately passed out again.  I tidied up in the living room and got a charger for his phone.  I plugged it in and tried to sleep next to him.  Nick was 6’4″ and probably 250.  I only have a full size bed.  It was cozy, to say the least.  Then, he rolled over and began to snore.  I was clinging to the few inches of mattress I had, deciding what to do when his phone started blowing up.  Literally buzzing a hole in my dresser.  I definitely knew the sleeping situation was not working as it was let alone the flashing/buzzing phone of his.  Between the snoring and the phone, I got up in a huff.  I didn’t want to invade his privacy but I needed to do something.  I went to turn the vibration off when I saw who had been texting him.  

It said 7 missed calls and 12 texts from Mommy. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩  Um.  What?  So many questions.  Why would your mom be blowing you up when you said you live with a roommate, whom you described in detail?  Why would she be texting you to be home by 11?!  And WHY the fuck is she “Mommy” in your phone!?!?  He was way passed out so the questions needed to wait.  I moved out to the couch.  I couldn’t sleep.  I knew his mom wasn’t sleeping either.  I decided I was going to let her know what was up.  

I didn’t want to invade his privacy so I didn’t want to use his cell.  I knew that she was also his friend on Facebook.  I sent her a FB message.  I let her know he was ok, that I was on the couch, and that I would make sure he got to work on time, since that was what one of the texts were about.  I was super respectful and apologetic.  After, I was finally able to fall asleep.  

5:00am that morning, Nick woke me up asking where his phone was.  I told him and then let him know I had to tell him something.  I told him about his mom blowing his phone up and sending her the FB message.  He was quiet.  I thought he might flip on me but he simply said thank you.  He hugged and kissed me goodbye.  I fell back asleep for a couple hours.  When I woke, I had a text from him that said, “I appreciate you”.  

I knew he had already lied to me about not living at home with his parents but it wasn’t until I discovered the empty Grey Goose bottle in my trash that I understood the stuper he was in on Sunday night.  When leaned over me to  tell me to get used to being taken care of, he was getting up to make himself another drink, instead of me making it for him.  Me who measures out shots not blindly dumps vodka in a glass with a splash of OJ.  He went through an almost completely full bottle of Grey Goose in a day, didn’t tell me when it was empty, and threw it away and buried it so I wouldn’t know.

I’m pretty sure Nick was an alcoholic who lived with “mommy and daddy”.  I don’t think he was sober on any date we had.  I discovered his secret and his lies sooner than most I suppose, so as quickly as we got together, it ended just as fast.  The next thing I knew, I was deleted from Facebook and he stopped responding to texts.  He had moved on to another girl without even the courtesy of letting me know.  But, of course, this wouldn’t be the last I’d hear from Nick.  

8 months passed and he reached out.  Turns out in addition to being a raging alcoholic, he was diagnosed with epilepsy.  He had had a couple grand maul seizures.  One of the causes to late onset epilepsy is heavy drinking.  While he was in the hospital, the girl he moved on from me with broke up with him.  She couldn’t handle it.  He wanted to let me know he was sorry.  I agreed to meet up with him.  With his new diagnosis, he was forced to quit drinking, so at least he would be sober.  He wasn’t able to drive any longer so I picked him up.  He jumped right back into calling me babe again.  I took his face in both my hands, looked him dead in the eye and said, “Do not say things that you can not follow through on.”  He lowered his eyes and apologized.  This was the last I’ve seen or heard of Nick.  I hope it’s because he respected what I said but I’ll never know for certain. 
*Names have been changed.