I recently discovered that, when you have dated in the same pool as your similar looking sibling, you may want to have a photo reference of guys who you’ve gone out with in the past to run by each other, so there isn’t any accidental cross contamination.  Just as I was laying down to bed one night, I received a call from my sister.  It was after 10 o’clock and nothing good comes from phone calls from her after 10.  I should have known better than to pick up the call but you never know when there is an emergency.

“Hello…?” I answered, groggily.

“HI! Where are YOU??”, she asked energetically.

“In bed… Where are you?”

“In bed with who?”

“…Myself. Do you think I’d answer my phone if I was in bed with a guy!?!”, I replied.

“Oh… I would.”, she retorted.  “Have you dated a guy recently named Max*?”, she asked.

Fully awake now, I responded, “Um, no, kinda, not really. Only a couple dates. He is a moron. Why?!”

“Oh, because he is sitting across the table from me right now. We are on a date!”, she said.

“OH MY GOD. You need to leave RIGHT NOW!”, I yelled. “That is the guy who was late 50 minutes to one of our dates! He told me his ex girlfriend was coming into town, that she’d be staying with him, and that he felt bad about us hanging out until after she left!!! Run!”

She laughed and then asked, “Is he the one you call…” Before she could finish, I interrupted her and called her an ass, told her to get out of there and hung up.  Is nothing between sisters sacred?! Sometimes she kills me!

Apparently, they were talking about life and my sister mentioned me.  She discussed my job and where I used to work, which is a big tech company in the valley.  This was sort of familiar to Max and he asked what my name was and if I had blondish hair.  My sister said yes and pulled up a picture of me.  That is when they realized for sure that he had gone out with me recently and decided to call me.

After I got off the call with her, I texted her to get out of there and to call me when she was on her way home.  She did.  She told me that he had still tried to get her to go home with him even after he found out that we were sisters!!! The creep.  Luckily, my sister had the wherewithal to get out of there.  That’s when the iMessages started.  His cell was blocked in my phone so he started using his iCloud account to iMessage me.  Even while he was STILL trying to hook up with my sister.

When you look up the word creep in the dictionary, I have to believe this guy’s picture can be found there.  He even sent my sister a dick pic after she left and while he was messaging me.  I can’t fathom why this guy is single! Any ladies want to take him off the market to spare the rest of us??  Ugh.  Online dating is a cesspool of cretins.  I will never go back, no matter how lonely I get.  It isn’t worth it.   That being said, my sister and I now have a process.  If she has a date with someone who would fit my criteria, she will show me their photo first.  If I’ve never seen him before, its a go.  If I have, run!

*Names have been changed