I’ve been dating online for years now and, regardless of how long I’ve been doing it, it can still shock and horrify me.  The most recent experience has me back in a I’m-never-online-dating-again-because-there-are-no-decent-people-on-the-interwebs mode.  Tuesday, I was having a nice chat, including humorous banter back and forth, with a new guy on OKCupid.  He said he wanted to leave his job in finance to become a lifeguard.  I commented that the good news was that he was in California, so he could at least be a lifeguard year round but that the bad news was that he was in California and that he might end up a homeless lifeguard.  Then, out of no where he asks me. “Have you ever been a bad girl?”.  In that instance, I knew what category this guy fell into.  The bait and switch guy.  He doesn’t want to be sexual right away because he could scare you off, so he tricks girls into thinking that he might be decent, when he is really only looking to talk dirty and get naked.  Luckily for me, he showed his true colors before I invested very much time at all.  He was the final straw this go round.

That is my cycle.  I date online until I hit my breaking point from the slew of lewd messages, I take a hiatus for a while, get lonely, forget my own horror stories and jump back in the deep-end of the online dating cesspool.  In November, I had thrown myself into online dating again.  I was coerced into joining… wait for it… Tinder… *GASP!*… The shame, I know, I know.  This just might be the worst of all the online dating sites.  My best friend swore up and down that she knew someone who had met someone from the notorious hook-up site and they were actually dating.  I gave it a chance and what I have discovered is that it is an enormous, shallow, buffet of people and if you tire of someone you begun to talk to, it is just that easy to vanish like a fart in the wind.  Trust me, I know.  It has happened no less than 6 times to me since November.  I would understand if I had done something crazy but after analyzing the messages and texts, my friends and I have determined that it is not me.  Could be biased but I’m going to overlook that detail.  Also, I have to say that I am ashamed to admit I have also been an offender of the disappearing act.  Sometimes you discover that you aren’t a match and instead of having the courage to tell that person to their face, it is just easier to evaporate.  I get it.  I could say that I’m not crazy until I’m blue in the face but regardless, there is the fear of what the other person will say or do to try to change your mind about dating them.  That being said, we did find out where one of the guys lived and drove past his place to check it out.  He totally lied about living with his parents, by the way.  My one friend could be a private detective if she wanted and, I’ve said on more than one occasion, I’m glad she is my friend and not my enemy!

Since I’m back to trying to date the old fashioned way, offline, I’ve decided to borrow my friend’s Siberian Husky for the weekend.   We are going to troll dog parks together, a new kind of bait-and-switch.  I’ve noticed that there were tons of guys online that said they would swipe right if I had a dog so we will see how many of them hang out at dog parks.  It might be dishonest but I’m sure there are worse things out there than appearing to have a dog when I actually don’t.  Maybe I’ve found the new “bar” in the dating world.  I can’t wait to find out.  If anything I’ll have a fun day with a puppy.  I might even get a new story out of it.